Birthday Nugget for my Son

Dear Prince,

My eldest child, you are now 14 years old (September 11), I am happy to see you grow into your own man.  I am happy to hear your thoughts and conviction.

First, let me throw it out there.  This is not a "Safehaven" movie kind of thing, where the mother, who died early due to cancer writes a letter for her 2 kids for special occasion.  I will not die anytime soon, I still have a long way to go. It's just that, sometimes, teens are getting annoyed through formal "one-on-one coaching/mentoring technique", thus I am innovating - "parenting through blogging". Yes, I just made that up just now, but it sounds good, so I might go with it as theme of this blog.

Growing up, I have my own qualms and issues. I have so many questions to ask the world.  And it was not until I had you that some were answered; that I found myself.  Through prayer and books, and through my mentor Dr. Rita Gatuslao, I was able to find myself.

Just as she shared with me her book entitled The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz - I am doing it with you and Psalm, eventually.

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best.

Be Impeccable With you Word

The book taught me about "meaning what you say, and saying what you mean.  Be guided by the values of honesty and integrity,  Also, being impeccable with your words mean, not cursing, being soft spoken - because I believe in the saying that "a soft answer turneth away wrath, but a grievous word stirs up anger".  Avoid too much familiarity, because there are times that a word would normally come across as a joke, but if the person you are jesting, woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and would not like your joke, as he is not feeling well, animosity could start.

Don't Take Anything Personally

My take on this is: if outside-in, don't take anything personally.  You cannot control other people's emotion, words, thoughts, and deeds.  You are only in control of yours. Be it your mother, father, sister, brother, son or daughter, you are never in control.  What they say is a manifestation of their own reality. Thus, to avoid drama in life, don't take anything personally.  But, if inside-out, meaning, if coming from you - always, be impeccable with your words, thus take it personally - put yourself in the shoes of another, be considerate - as the golden rule says" do unto others what you want others, to do to you" - and don't do or say to others, what you do not want them to do or say to you.

Don't Make Assumptions

When in doubt, just ask.  And ask, nicely.  There are a lot of means to communicate nowadays, phone, email, SMS, etc. but there are still miscommunication happening. Perhaps, we are forgetting the most important medium.  For me, to avoid miscommunication, talk about it face to face.  Lay down your expectations on the table - so that other party knows what to expect.

Always Do Your Best

Before you start on anything, pray about it. Funny, how we think of God when things go wrong.  Maybe, if we had prayed about it earlier on, things will never go wrong because you have asked God if doing it or not it in the first place is in accordance with His plan.  But there are times, he allows it, so we can learn more and be stronger. But one thing for sure, He will never forsake, us.  He will see us through, He will never give us something that we can't carry.  After praying about it, give it your 100% shot. Always strive for excellence. Do not dwell on mediocrity, so you don't end up saying, what if I gave it my all? Always do your best son, and God will do the rest.

Mommy and daddy are always here for you and Psalm.  

Grow in God's light and love. Live, love and laugh. Save for the rainy days and travel. 

I love you son! you will always be Mommy's little Prince.